FatLand: The Early Days – 7

Late in December, after a strong and windy snowstorm, a man in a wheelchair entered through one of the checkpoints. Since no scales were allowed in FatLand, they did not weigh him, but he said that he had weighed 700 pounds on the Other Side.

The Acting Board, as Charla, Angela, Ronnie, Brenton, Darren, and Evan designated themselves, convened a meeting with the man in the wheelchair.

“First of all,” Charla said, “we’d like to welcome you to FatLand.”

“Thanks,” the man said.

“What we’d like to know now is what kind of help, if any, you would like from us.  I assume you know that we don’t do weight loss surgery of any kind here.”

“That’s fine with me,” the man said, “because even if you did, I wouldn’t want it.”

“What kind of assistance would you like from us?” Brenton asked.

“I’d like some kind of companion to assist me with cooking and household tasks,” the man said. “I get around pretty well in this thing.”

“Will you require special bedding or bathroom space?” Angela asked.

“I saw your bedding and bathrooms,” the man answered. “They look like they’ll do just fine.”

He saw the anxious looks on their faces. “You look like you bought into that tripe about supersize people needing a lot of help,” he said, grinning. “Not this one.  I don’t do any exercises in particular, but I like to race my chair sometimes. Want to see?”

“Sure,” Ronnie said.

He shifted the gear on the top of the right hand side, backed up, and zoomed around the six Acting Board Members. “Hey, stop!” Angela yelled. “You’re getting us all dizzy!”

“We believe you, man,” Brenton said. “Now be so good as to introduce yourself.”

“Bill here,” he said. “William Sender.” William stopped the wheel chair and spun over to the chairs occupied by the Board.

“Man,” Darren said, “you can really run that thing.”

“Comes with practice,” William said. “Actually I do get a check-up every year, and on the Other Side, they gaped every time when my cholesterol and BP came back in their so-called normal categories.”

“That’s fine with us,” Charla said. “We already have four docs, and growing.”

“I hate doctors,” William said. “But maybe here they’ll be different.”

“You better believe they’ll be different,” Darren said.


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